OSLO, Norway (The Dissociated Press) - Senior White House officials are acknowledging that the choice of President Barack Obama Friday as the 2009 recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize constitutes a "huge political liability" for the new administration, which has been struggling in its first 7 months to grapple with two wars, a global financial crisis, health care reform, and the need to prove that the Commander in Chief is not, as claimed by the Republican leadership, a native of Namibia.
The Nobel Committee awarded the prize to Mr. Obama mostly "in recognition of his efforts to advance the use of unmanned drones for the delivery of heavy lethal ordnance to out-of-the-way areas of military conflict," according to a statement issued here Friday by its press secretary, Abjörn the Viking. The statement cited the fact that the pilots of such drones can conduct their missions from computer consoles located at military bases, or suburban shopping malls, in the U.S., only a few miles from their homes --- as opposed to having to be thousands of miles away from their families, for extended periods, and possibly even in danger --- as "a key development in the pursuit of peace."
"The Nobel Committee believes that allowing parents to spend more time with their spouses and children anywhere is a critical step toward achieving a lasting peace everywhere," Viking said. "And, through his increased use of unmanned drones for bombing missions in Iraq, Somalia, and southern Asia, Mr. Obama has taken that step in a way no other nominee for this year's prize has!"
However, Mr. Obama's top advisors, who came to Norway to encourage the Committee to revisit its decision, --- perhaps to even have Iran's president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, conduct a recount of the votes --- could not hide their concern.
"You have to understand that in the unique political environment of the United States --- where only a third of eligible adults votes, fewer than half of those voters read books, and less than a quarter of those books contain actual words --- it is viewed as a sign of weakness, even ineptitude, to be interested in, no less promoting peace!" said one high-level aide who asked not to be identified. "With all the President's trying to do to bring affordable health care to all Americans, combat global warming, salvage the U.S. economy, and end the practice of torture by U.S. military and intelligence interrogators, those drone-launched missile strikes were just about the only thing giving him credibility! And now they've gone and given him a Peace Prize for them??!! Talk about the luck of the damned!!"
And, in a somewhat related story . . .
Mountain View, California (The Dissociated Press) - NASA scientists and engineers were slightly crestfallen Friday after learning that a heavy impactor rocket, which was supposed to crash into the Moon's surface and kick up tons of lunar matter in a miles-high plume from which substantial amounts of water-ice might be detected, had instead landed on a wedding party in Afghanistan.
The Nobel Committee awarded the prize to Mr. Obama mostly "in recognition of his efforts to advance the use of unmanned drones for the delivery of heavy lethal ordnance to out-of-the-way areas of military conflict," according to a statement issued here Friday by its press secretary, Abjörn the Viking. The statement cited the fact that the pilots of such drones can conduct their missions from computer consoles located at military bases, or suburban shopping malls, in the U.S., only a few miles from their homes --- as opposed to having to be thousands of miles away from their families, for extended periods, and possibly even in danger --- as "a key development in the pursuit of peace."
"The Nobel Committee believes that allowing parents to spend more time with their spouses and children anywhere is a critical step toward achieving a lasting peace everywhere," Viking said. "And, through his increased use of unmanned drones for bombing missions in Iraq, Somalia, and southern Asia, Mr. Obama has taken that step in a way no other nominee for this year's prize has!"
However, Mr. Obama's top advisors, who came to Norway to encourage the Committee to revisit its decision, --- perhaps to even have Iran's president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, conduct a recount of the votes --- could not hide their concern.
"You have to understand that in the unique political environment of the United States --- where only a third of eligible adults votes, fewer than half of those voters read books, and less than a quarter of those books contain actual words --- it is viewed as a sign of weakness, even ineptitude, to be interested in, no less promoting peace!" said one high-level aide who asked not to be identified. "With all the President's trying to do to bring affordable health care to all Americans, combat global warming, salvage the U.S. economy, and end the practice of torture by U.S. military and intelligence interrogators, those drone-launched missile strikes were just about the only thing giving him credibility! And now they've gone and given him a Peace Prize for them??!! Talk about the luck of the damned!!"
And, in a somewhat related story . . .
Mountain View, California (The Dissociated Press) - NASA scientists and engineers were slightly crestfallen Friday after learning that a heavy impactor rocket, which was supposed to crash into the Moon's surface and kick up tons of lunar matter in a miles-high plume from which substantial amounts of water-ice might be detected, had instead landed on a wedding party in Afghanistan.
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