The Dissociated Press

Surgin' Generals' Warning

BAGHDAD, Iraq (The Dissociated Press) - A pair of synchronized suicide car bombings here Sunday killed 155 people and wounded over 500 more, leaving former US vice president Dick Cheney and the dozens of other high-profile armchair generals who have roundly criticized Barack Obama for not swiftly transferring George W Bush's "successful Iraq troop-surge strategy" to Afghanistan, to contemplate whether they might not want to try their hands at a less risky type of punditry, like derivatives trading.

The blasts Sunday, Iraq's deadliest in two years, targeted the Ministry of Justice, the Ministry of Public Works, the Baghdad provincial government, and part of Neptune, according to local officials, several of whom were dead and speaking through a medium.

Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki visited the site of the bombings and blamed al-Qaeda and remnants of Saddam Hussein’s Baath regime for the carnage. He said the attacks would "not affect the political process or January's upcoming parliamentary elections."

"Yeah, in Denmark!" added an aide, who was immediately shot.

Meanwhile, the Iraqi interior minister, Jihad al-Bolani, asserted that the bombings were connected to the attacks in August, when ten explosions rocked Baghdad, leaving more than 100 dead and 1,200 injured, numbers which, according to former US vice president Dick Cheney and the dozens of conservative politicians and commentators who have repeatedly accused Barack Obama of fathering a two-headed alien baby with one of Osama bin Laden's wives, would have been much higher had it not been for George W Bush's "successful Iraq troop-surge strategy."

Adding to the enormous tragedy of the twin bombings was the fact that it took the lives of Iraq's most promising suicide car-bombing tandem, Al-Jamil and Klein, thereby virtually ruining what chances this struggling nation had of gaining a medal in the pairs' synchronized suicide car-bombing competition in the 2012 London Olympic games.

"I don't think you can overstate how much [the loss of Al-Jamil and Klein] hurts us," said Shamil Basayev, a former radical Chechen warlord, who was recruited to coach Iraq's national team in 2007, when it was first announced that synchronized suicide car-bombing would be added to the London games. "Training for any Olympic sport is fraught with risk . . . of injury, burn-out, whatever. But these men were very focused, totally committed, and in their glory. I guess they just peaked too soon," Basayev said.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: BELOW ARE LISTED THE DOCUMENTED SUICIDE BOMBINGS IN IRAQ SINCE JANUARY 10, 2007, WHEN GEORGE W BUSH ANNOUNCED HIS "SUCCESSFUL IRAQ TROOP-SURGE STRATEGY." THE FULL LIST OF REFERENCES CAN BE FOUND AT http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_bombings_in_Iraq_since_2003.

2007

    * January 10: Two suicide bombers attacked separately in Tal Afar killing five people and wounding 15 others.[382]
    * January 15: A suicide bomber attacked an office of the Kurdistan Democratic Party in Mosul killing 5 people and wounding 28.[383]
    * January 16: Mustansiriya University bombings: A double car bombing, including one suicide attack, killed 70 people and wounded 180 at the Mustansiriya University in Baghdad.[384] Shortly after a bomb exploded in a Baghdad motorcycle market a suicide bomber attacked the police and first responders who had arrived at the scene, killing 13 people.[385]
    * January 17: A suicide car bomb struck a market in Sadr City, killing 17 people.[386] A suicide bomber attacked near a police headquarters in Kirkuk killing 10 people.[387] Police shot and killed a suicide bomber after he attempted to attack a police checkpoint in Ramadi.[388]
    * January 18: A suicide bomber attacked a police patrol in Mosul killing one civilian and wounding six people, including four policemen.[389]
    * January 21: A suicide bomber attacked an Iraqi army patrol in Mosul killing one woman.[390]
    * January 22: Bab al-Sharqi market bombings: A parked car bomb followed immediately by a suicide car bomber struck a predominantly Shiite commercial area in the Bab al-Sharqi market in central Baghdad, killing 88 people.[391][392]
    * January 23: A suicide car bomber attacked the Kurdistan Youth Federation, an affiliate of the KDP, in Mosul killing wounding nine people.[393]
    * January 24: A suicide bomber attacked a police patrol in Baghdad killing four policemen.[394]
    * January 25: A suicide car bomber killed 26 people and wounded 55 at a busy intersection in the Karrada district of Baghdad.[395]
    * January 26: A suicide bomber attacked a Shi'ite mosque near Mosul killing one person. A suicide bomber attacked an U.S. army patrol in Baghdad killing 2 U.S. soldiers.[396] Police killed a suicide car bomber as tried to attack their checkpoint in Ramadi.[397]
    * January 27: 13 people were killed in a double suicide bombing in Baghdad.[398] A suicide car bomb exploded outside a Shiite mosque in Kirkuk killing the vehicle driver and passenger.[399]
    * January 28: In the first attack of its kind, a suicide bomber targeted an Emergency Response Unit in Ramadi with a chlorine-laden truck bomb. 16 People were killed in the blast, but the chlorine did not appear to injure anyone.[400] A suicide bomber blew himself up in Kirkuk, killing eight people.[401]
    * January 29: A suicide car bomber attacked a police checkpoint in the Hurriyah district of Baghdad killing 4 people and wounding 5.[402]
    * January 30: A suicide bomber killed 23 people and wounded 57 in an attack on a Shi'ite mosque in Balad Ruz.[403] A suicide bomber attacked a checkpoint protecting religious pilgrims commemorating the Ashura holiday in Hafriya killing two people.[402]
    * February 1: Six people were killed and 12 wounded when a suicide bomber blew himself up in a minibus in the central Baghdad district of Karrada.[404] Two suicide bombers blew themselves up in a crowded outdoor market in Hilla, south of Baghdad, killing 73 people.[199][405]
    * February 3: Sadriyah market bombing: A suicide bomber blew up his vehicle in Baghdad's Sadriya market, killing 135 people and wounding 305, in the deadliest single bombing since the 2003 US-led invasion.[406][407] A suicide bomber inadvertently veered into & blew up an ambulance in Mosul, killing a pregnant woman and wounding two others. Police sources suggested his intended target was the Al Boursah Market.[408]
    * February 8: A suicide bomber attacked an Iraqi police checkpoint north of Haditha in Anbar province, killing seven policemen and wounding three.[409]
    * February 10: A suicide car bomber killed five people and wounded 10 near a queue outside a bakery in the mainly Shi'ite district of Karrada. A suicide car bomber killed one Iraqi soldier and wounded five people, including three civilians, as it targeted an army checkpoint in the northern Iraqi town of Tal Afar.[410]
    * February 11: In Tikrit, 80 miles north of Baghdad, a suicide truck bomber slammed into a crowd of police lining up for duty Sunday near Tikrit, collapsing the station and killing at least 30 people and wounding 50.[citation needed][411] One policeman was wounded when a suicide bomber exploded near a Shi'ite mosque in the Ilaam district in southern Baghdad.[412]
    * February 13: A suicide bomber blew up a truck near a Baghdad college in the western district of Iskan, killing 18 people and wounding 40.[413]
    * February 14: A suicide car bomber killed at least eight policemen and wounded 20 others when he blew up his vehicle at the entrance of a police station in the western Iraqi city of Ramadi, police sources said. The officer in charge of the station, Colonel Salam al-Dulaimi, died in the blast.[414]
    * February 17: A suicide bomber attacked a checkpoint near Kerbala wounding two policemen. A double suicide attack killed 10 people and wounded 83 in Kirkuk.[415]
    * February 19: At least one suicide car bomber attacked a US combat outpost north of Baghdad, killing 2 American soldiers and wounding 29 others.[416][417][418] Two suicide bombers killed 11 people, including five police officers, when they attacked the house of a tribal leader in Ramadi.[419] A chlorine-laden truck was detonated by a suicide bomber in Ramadi, killing two Iraqi security forces.[420] A suicide bomber attacked the house of the army chief in Dhuluiya, killing five and wounding fifteen.[421]
    * February 20: Seven are killed by a suicide bomber during a funeral in Baghdad.[citation needed][422] A suicide car bomber hit a vegetable market in a Shiite enclave of the Sunni Dora district in southern Baghdad. At least five people were killed and seven injured.[423]
    * February 21: In a suicide bombing in Najaf on a police checkpoint 12 people, including seven policemen, where killed.[424]
    * February 24: A suicide truck bomber killed 52 people at a mosque in Habbaniyah.[425] A suicide car bomber killed one civilian in southern Baghdad.[426] A suicide bomber attacked outside an SCIRI compound in Baghdad killing three people, the compound was not his target.[427]
    * February 25: A suicide bomber attacked a college campus in Baghdad killing 41 people, mostly students.[428]
    * February 26: A suicide bomber attacked a police station in Ramadi killing 14 people.[429] A suicide bomber attacked a checkpoint near Kirkuk killing one Iraqi soldier.[430]
    * February 27: A suicide bomber attacked an Iraqi police station in Mosul killing 7 policemen and wounding 47 people, including 15 other policemen. A suicide bomber killed four people near Mosul.[431]
    * February 28: A suicide bomber attacked an Iraqi police station in Baghdad killing 2 policemen and wounding another 4.[citation needed][432]
    * March 3: A suicide bomber killed 3 policemen and 9 civilians in Ramadi.[433]
    * March 5: A suicide bomber killed 38 and wounded 105 people at a Baghdad book market.[434]
    * March 6: Hillah bombings: Two suicide vest bombers killed 120 people and wounded 190 when they targeted Shi'ite pilgrims in Hillah.[citation needed][435]
    * March 7: A suicide bomber kills 30 at a restaurant in Balad Ruz, in the Diyala province.[citation needed][435] A suicide bomber attacked a checkpoint in Baghdad killing 12 policemen and 10 civilians.[436]
    * March 8: A suicide car bomber struck a police patrol in Mosul, killing four policemen.[437]
    * March 10: A suicide bomber targeting a U.S. Military patrol in Sadr city kills 18 people, including 6 U.S. soldiers, and wounds 48.[438]
    * March 11: A suicide car bomber rammed a truck carrying Shiite pilgrims returning from a religious commemoration, killing 32 people. A suicide bomber attacked the offices of Iraq Islamic Party in Mosul, killing three guards.[439] A suicide bomber killed 10 people in an attack between Talbiya Bridge and Mustansiriya Square.[440]
    * March 14: A man wearing an explosives belt strolled into an outdoor market in Tuz Khormato and blew himself up, killing 8 and wounding 25. A suicide car bomber slammed into an Iraqi army checkpoint in the Sunni neighborhood of Yarmouk, killing 2 civilians and wounding 4 others.[441]
    * March 15: A suicide bomber attacked an Iraqi army and police checkpoint in central Baghdad, killing eight policemen and soldiers and wounding 25. A suicide bomber targeted an Iraqi army checkpoint killing one Iraqi soldier in the Yarmouk district in Baghdad.[442] A suicide bomber struck in the Karada district in Baghdad killing two civilians.[citation needed][443] A suicide bomber attacked a military checkpoint under construction west of Baquba wounding 10 Iraqi Army soldiers.[citation needed][444] A suicide bomber rammed his car into a bus killing four people in Iskandariyah.[445]
    * March 16: Three suicide bombers driving chlorine-laden trucks wounded 350 Iraqis in co-ordinated attacks across Al Anbar province. The bombers struck in Ramadi, Amiriyah, and the Albu Issa tribal region south of Fallujah.[446][447] A suicide bomber wounded 11 people, including 4 policemen, in Diyala province.[citation needed][448][447] A suicide bomber wounded 11 people, including 4 policemen, in Diyala province.[citation needed][448]
    * March 17: A suicide car bomb hit a checkpoint in Baghdad's Harthiya district, killing three and wounding five.[449] Iraqi soldiers from 3rd Brigade, 5th Iraqi Army Division killed a suicide bomber south of Shakarat. The bomber ignored several verbal warnings to stop, and upon being shot his vest detonated.[450][451]
    * March 18: An insurgent car bomb was waved through a security checkpoint in Azamiya, Northern Baghdad, after troops noticed two children were sitting in the back seats. Using the children as a decoy, the driver then gained permission to leave his vehicle parked next to a crowded marketplace in the district. With both minors still on board the car bomb detonated, killing them along with at least three other people.[452]
    * March 19: A suicide bomber attacked a Shiite mosque in Baghdad killing 6 people and wounding 32.[453]
    * March 20: A suicide car bomber targeted an Iraqi army checkpoint in the Jami'a district of Baghdad, killing one soldier and wounding another.[454]
    * March 21: A suicide truck bomber killed five and wounded 40 when he attacked the headquarters of a Kurdish party, the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan, in Mosul.[455]
    * March 23: Deputy prime minister Salam Al-Zubaie was seriously injured in a high profile assassination attempt by a suicide bomber at a prayer hall in his own residential compound. Eight members of his entourage were killed, and there were reports the bomber could have been one of his own bodyguards.[456][457][458]
    * March 24: A suicide truck bombing destroyed a Baghdad police station, killing 33 officers and wounding another 44 people.[459] In Haswa, a suicide truck bomber killed 11 people and wounded 45 more near a mosque. A suicide bomber blew himself up in a Tal Afar marketplace, killing ten and wounding three people. A suicide bomber attacked a US-Iraqi joint checkpoint in Ramadi wounding three Iraqi soldiers.[citation needed][460] Three suicide bombers attacked a police station and two checkpoints near Al Qaim on the Syrian border killing 17 policemen and 3 civilians.[citation needed][461]
    * March 25: Two soldiers died after a suicide car bomber struck an Iraqi army checkpoint in Baqouba.[462]
    * March 26: Near the Shorja marketplace in central Baghdad, a suicide car bomber killed two people and injured five others.[463] Two suicide truck bombers attacked a U.S. military outpost near Fallujah wounding 8 American soldiers.[464]
    * March 27: Tal Afar bombing: In the deadliest single blast of the four-year-old insurgency, 152 people were killed and 347 wounded when a suicide truck bomber targeted a Shi'ite district of Tal Afar. 100 homes were destroyed in the blast.[465][466] Outside Ramadi, a suicide truck bomber attacked a roadside restaurant where he killed 17 people and wounded 32 others. In an internal conflict between insurgent groups a suicide bomber killed a leader of an opposite group in the Abu Ghraib suburb of Baghdad.[467][466] Outside Ramadi, a suicide truck bomber attacked a roadside restaurant where he killed 17 people and wounded 32 others. In an internal conflict between insurgent groups a suicide bomber killed a leader of an opposite group in the Abu Ghraib suburb of Baghdad.[467] In Ramadi, a suicide bomber killed one person and injured seven others.[468] A suicide bomber killed himself and two policemen in Baquba.[citation needed][469]
    * March 28: Two suicide truck bombs, one of which contained chlorine gas, detonated outside the Fallujah Government Center. The initial blasts were followed by a sustained attack involving gunfire and two suicide bombers on foot. In total 14 US personnel and 57 Iraqi forces suffered injuries.[470][471] A suicide car bomber drove into an Iraqi army post in Hay al-Jamiya in Baghdad killing one soldier and wounding three others.[citation needed][472][471] A suicide bomber attacked a school used by U.S. forces in Haditha.[473]
    * March 29: Al-Shaab market bombings: A pair of suicide bombers on foot killed 82 people in a market in Baghdad's Shaab neighborhood.[474] Three suicide car bombers attacked a market in the town of Khalis, killing 43-53 people.[475]
    * March 31: In Tuz Khormato, a suicide car bombing killed two Shi’ite laborers and wounded 11 more.[476]
    * April 1: East of Mosul at an Army base in Sinaea, two suicide truck bombs killed two people and wounded 17 others.[477]
    * April 2: A suicide bomber attacked a police station in Kirkuk killing 15 people, including 1 U.S.soldier. In Baghdad, a suicide car bomber drove into a police checkpoint in the Doura neighborhood where he killed two people and wounded five others. A suicide bomber killed three people and wounded 20 near a popular Khalis restaurant.[478]
    * April 5: A suicide truck bomber attacked a Baghdad satellite television station run by Iraq's biggest Sunni political party, killing one person and wounding three.
    * April 6: A suicide truck bomb containing chlorine detonated at a police checkpoint in Ramadi, killing 27 people.[479] A suicide car bomb with two attackers on board hit a checkpoint south of Baghdad, but only the bombers were harmed.[480]
    * April 7: A suicide bomber attacked a security checkpoint in Samara killing five policemen.[citation needed][481] A suicide bomber in Baghdad killed one Iraqi soldier in an attack on a checkpoint in Sadr city.[citation needed][482]
    * April 8: A suicide bomber killed seven people in the Ilaam district of Baghdad.[483]
    * April 10: A female suicide bomber on foot killed 17 recruits and injured 33 others outside a police station in the majority Sunni Muslim town of Muqdadiya.[484]
    * April 12: Parliament bombing: A suicide bomber penetrated the Green Zone and exploded himself in a cafeteria within the parliament building, killing Iraqi MP Mohammed Awadh and wounding more than twenty other people.[485] A suicide truck bomb killed 10 people when it detonated in the middle of Baghdad's al-Sarafiya bridge, collapsing large parts of the steel structure and sending cars plunging into the river below.[486]
    * April 14: A suicide car bomber killed at least 44 people and wounded 224 at a crowded bus station near a major Shi'ite shrine in Kerbala. A suicide car bomber detonated his device near a checkpoint at Baghdad's Jadriyah bridge, killing 10 people.[487][488] A suicide car bomber killed five Iraqi soldiers and wounded four others when he targeted a checkpoint in Baiji.[489] Four would-be suicide attackers were killed in Kirkuk when one of them detonated his explosives belt prematurely, said Police Brig. Adil Zain-Alabideen. No civilians were hurt.[490][488]
    * April 15: A suicide bomber blew himself up on a small bus killing six people and wounding 11 in a Shiite are of northwestern Baghdad. In Mosul six people were killed in a double suicide car bomb attack on an Iraqi army base. Four Iraqi soldiers were among the dead.[488][491]
    * April 16: Nine people were killed and ten wounded when a suicide car bomber targeted a police directorate in Ishaqi.[491]
    * April 17: A suicide bomber in a tanker targeted a police patrol east of Mosul, killing one civilian and wounding four Iraqi soldiers.[492]
    * April 18: Baghdad bombings: A suicide bomber killed 41, including 5 policemen, and wounded 76 in Sadr City.[493] A suicide bomber attacked a police checkpoint in Baghdad's Sadiyah district killing two policemen and wounding eight. A suicide bomber killed two policemen and wounded four people when he targeted a police patrol near Baghdad.[494] A suicide bomber injured seven people near Mosul.[495]
    * April 19: In Baghdad a suicide car bomber drove his vehicle into a fuel tanker killing 12 and wounding 34 people.[496]
    * April 20: A suicide truck bomber killed a civilian and wounded 8 U.S. troops when he detonated his vehicle under a highway overpass near Saqlawiya. A suicide truck bomber targeted a police station near Falluja, killing two civilians and wounding 37.[497]
    * April 22: A double suicide attack on a police station in Baghdad killed 12 people and wounded 95 others. Most of the dead were civilians.[498]
    * April 23: 9 American soldiers were killed and 20 wounded in a double suicide truck bombing at a military base in Diyala province. The U.S. military claimed only one vehicle was involved, but witnesses & Al Qaeda insisted two separate suicide truck bombs had been used.[499][500] A suicide belt bomber attacked a restaurant near the entrance to the Green Zone, killing seven people and wounding 16.[499] Three suicide car bombs hit a restaurant and two checkpoints in Ramadi, killing between 20 and 29 people.[501] A suicide car bomber killed 10 people and wounded 20 at a PDK office near Mosul. A suicide car bomber killed 10 policemen, including the chief of police, and wounded 23 more when he targeted a gathering of senior police officials in Baquba.[502] A suicide car bomber targeted Diyala Governorate's hall, killing 4 and injuring 25.[503]
    * April 24: A suicide truck bomb targeted a police patrol in the Albufarraj area near Ramadi, killing 25 people and wounded 44.[504]
    * April 25: A suicide vest bomber attacked a police station in Balad Ruz killing nine people, including at least four policemen, and wounding 16 others.[505]
    * April 26: A suicide car bomber killed at least ten Iraqi soldiers and wounded 15 other people at an Iraqi army checkpoint in Khalis. Two suicide bombers detonated 50 yards from a PDK office in Zumar near Mosul, killing three security guards.[506]
    * April 27: A suicide bomber attacked the home of the chief of police in Hit, killing 10-15 people.[507] A suicide bomber exploded himself near a checkpoint in Kisk north of Kirkuk, killing four policemen.[508][509]
    * April 28: A suicide car bomber killed 60 people in Karbala when he struck a checkpoint outside the al-Abbas shrine.[510] A suicide bomber attacked a military checkpoint in Khalis, killing one Iraqi soldier and wounding three others.[511][509]
    * April 30: A suicide vest bomber targeted a Shi'ite funeral in Khalis, killing at least 32 people.[512] A suicide car bomber detonated his vehicle inside a subway tunnel near Nisour square in Baghdad, killing two civilians and injuring 15. A suicide car bomb injured four people when it exploded in Baghdad's Hay Al-Ja'mia neighborhood near the Mula Huaish mosque.[513]
    * May 2: A suicide car bomber struck a police car near Al Rafidein police station in Sadr city, killing between four and nine people.[514][515]
    * May 4: A suicide car bomber targeted the national police HQ in Baghdad's Doura neighbourhood, but it was not clear if any casualties were caused.[516]
    * May 5: A suicide car bomber killed one person when he targeted the Karkh police directorate in Baghdad's Yarmuk neighbourhood.[517][518] A suicide vest bomber exploded himself amongst a queue of Iraqi army recruits in Abu Ghraib, killing 15.[519] McClatchy reported that that attack was caused by two suicide car bombs, but all other news reports and also Al Qaeda's own communique attributed it to a lone vest bomber.[517][520]
    * May 6: A suicide car bomb exploded near the police directorate in Samarra, killing up to 12 police officers. CNN reported that 2 U.S. soldiers were also killed in the attack.[521][522]
    * May 7: Two suicide car bombers struck a market and a police checkpoint near Ramadi, killing 13 people.[522] A suicide car bomber attacked a police checkpoint on the outskirts of Baghdad, killing eight policemen and wounding 12.[523]
    * May 8: A suicide car bomber struck a market in the Shi'ite city of Kufa, killing 16 people and wounding 70 others.[524] A suicide vest bomber wearing a police uniform exploded himself inside a police station in the town of Jalawla during morning roll call, killing two to five police officers.[525][526]
    * May 9: A suicide truck bomb detonated outside the Interior Ministry in Irbil, killing at least 19 people and wounding 80.[527]
    * May 11: A pair of suicide car bombers hit Iraqi police checkpoints on two bridges crossing the Diyala River, a Tigris tributary. The attacks on the southern edge of Baghdad in a Shi'ite area killed 23 people, including 11 police officers, and badly damaged one of the bridges.[528] A third truck bomb struck a bridge near the town of Taji just north of Baghdad, followed immediately by a car bomb which killed four soldiers, but agencies did not report whether either of those bombings were suicide attacks.[529][530]
    * May 12: According to McClatchy, police commandos manning a checkpoint opened fire on a truck bomb as it was being driven up to a petrol station in Baghdad's Al-Meda'en neighbourhood, causing it to explode and kill just the driver.[531] CNN, however, reported that the explosion killed two civilians and was caused by a parked car bomb.[532]
    * May 13: 50 people were killed in a suicide truck bombing targeting a KDP office in the town of Makhmoor in northern Iraq.[533]
    * May 14: Two Iraqi soldiers were killed when a suicide car bomber attacked a military checkpoint in Baghdad's Mansour neighborhood.[534][535]
    * May 15: McClatchy reported that a suicide car bomb struck a market in Abu Saida town, Diyala province, killing 12 and injuring 22.[536] Reuters meanwhile put the death toll as high as 45 and reported that the attack was a chlorine bombing, but made no reference to it being a suicide attack.[537][538] A suicide car bomber hit an Iraqi army checkpoint near Mosul, wounding four soldiers.[539][540]
    * May 16: Heavy street fighting erupted in Mosul in which there were up to 10 car bombs exploding, seven of which were suicide bombings. 10 police officers, one soldier, one civilian and 15 insurgents were killed in the fighting.[541] Seven tribesmen were killed during a suicide bombing at a checkpoint near Fallujah.[542] A soldier died in a suicide bombing at a checkpoint in the Hadeed area of west Baquba.[543]
    * May 18: A suicide bomber attacked an Iraqi police checkpoint in Mussayab killing three people and wounding four, mostly policemen. A suicide bomber killed three policemen and wounded two in Hilla. A suicide bomber detonated his cargo near a U.S. convoy in Fallujah 5 U.S. Marines were among the dead.[544]
    * May 20: Two suicide bombers targeted an Iraqi army checkpoint and military HQ in Baghdad, killing one soldier and one civilian.[545] A suicide truck bomber using chlorine gas attacked a police checkpoint in Zangora district west of Ramadi, killing between two and 11 people.[546][547][548]
    * May 21: A suicide car bomber rammed his cargo into a checkpoint in Fallujah. No casualty figures were released.[549][550]
    * May 22: A 17 year old suicide vest bomber blew himself up in the house of two brothers affiliated with the Anbar Salvation Council. Ten people were killed, including the intended targets Sheik Mohammed Ali & police Lt. Col. Abed Ali, as well as their wives and children.[551][552] A suicide car bomber targeted a police checkpoint on the Al Mikaneek bridge in Baghdad's Doura district, killing one police officer and wounding three other people.[553][554]
    * May 23: A suicide vest bomber killed 15-20 people in a cafe in Mandali, a mainly Shiite Kurd town near the Iranian border. A suicide bomber killed a policeman and wounded three others in the Doura section of Baghdad.[551]
    * May 24: Reuters reported that a suicide car bomber targeted a funeral procession in Fallujah, killing at least 28 people.[555] AP attributed the explosion to a parked car bomb however.[556] A suicide car bomber killed an Iraqi soldier and wounded three others when he struck an Iraqi army checkpoint in northern Baghdad. A suicide vest bomber killed three civilians on a minibus in eastern Baghdad.[557]
    * May 26: In Baghdad's Ghazaliya district, two people were killed and 11 wounded during a suicide car bomb attack on a checkpoint.[558]
    * May 28: A suicide car bomber rammed his vehicle into a police checkpoint, injuring three officers and a child.[559]
    * May 31: A suicide bomber killed 25 people, including 10 policemen, and wounded 30 more at a police recruitment center in Fallujah. In Ramadi, a suicide truck bomber killed five people and wounded 15 more. A suicide car bomber attacked a U.S. military checkpoint in Baghdad wounding 8 U.S. soldiers and 3 civilians.[560]
    * June 1: A suicide truck bomber attacked what is thought to be an al-Qaeda safehouse; at least two insurgents were killed. A suicide truck bomber attacked a police lieutenant colonel's home in Shurkat killing 12 civilians.[561][562]
    * June 2: A suicide car bomber at a checkpoint in Shurqat killed five Iraqis, including two soldiers and two policemen. A suicide bomber attacked a U.S. military patrol in Babil province killing 1 U.S. soldier. Another bomber was killed when his vest detonated after the soldiers fired on him.[563][564]
    * June 3: A chlorine-laden car bomb - possibly driven by a suicide attacker - targeted FOB Warhorse near Baquba. In the aftermath of the attack at least 62 U.S. soldiers were sickened by noxious gas, but no-one was seriously injured.[565] A suicide car bomber killed at least 10 people and injured 30 others when he targeted a police convoy in a busy market area in Balad Ruz.[566]
    * June 4: Three Iraqi soldiers were killed yesterday when a suicide car bomber attacked their checkpoint near Taji. Two guards were wounded when a suicide truck bomber attacked the home of a police brigadier; 11 people were also injured.[567]
    * June 5: A suicide car bomber killed 19 people and wounded 25 in a Fallujah marketplace.[568] In Baghdad, a female suicide bomber detonated prematurely after security forces opened fire on her at an Interior Ministry police recruitment center in the Sadr al-Qanat neighborhood. Three police commandos were injured during the incident.[569][570]
    * June 7: Near the Syrian border at Rabea, a suicide bomber killed 10 people, while wounding at least 30 Iraqis and five British contractors. Six people were wounded during a botched suicide truck attack at a police checkpoint near Ramadi; police fired at the driver and blew the truck up before it reached its destination.[571]
    * June 9: A suicide truck bomber killed 14 Iraqi soldiers and wounded 30 more during an attack at a checkpoint near Hilla. In Baquba, two suicide bombers at a police checkpoint killed one officer.[572]
    * June 10: A suicide truck bomber killed 14 policemen and wounded 42 more at a police station in Tikrit.[573] A suicide truck bomber destroyed a pillar of a bridge over the main highway between Mahmudiya and Baghdad collapsing part of the bridge and killing 3 U.S. soldiers and wounding 6 other soldiers and an Iraqi interpreter.[574] South of Baquba, a suicide bomber killed two policemen and wounded three others at a police station.[575]
    * June 12: A suicide car bomber in Ramadi killed three policemen and wounded 15 others.[576]
    * June 13: In Ramadi, four policemen were killed an 11 wounded during a suicide car bombing at a checkpoint outside town. A suicide bomber in a Mandali police station killed three people, including the police chief and wounded five others. A suicide bomber was killed in Baquba before he could detonate his cargo.[577][578]
    * June 14: A gunman blew himself up in front of the Arabic Advisory Council office in Diyala province. A suicide bomber killed two policemen and injured five others in an attack in Fallujah.[579]
    * June 17: A suicide vest bomber killed at least four civilians when he detonated himself amongst a crowd gathering to renew their Falluja residency badges in Jbil district.[580] Three policemen were killed and seven more were wounded during a suicide car bombing in Baiji.[581]
    * June 18: A suicide truck bomber targeted Iraqi security troops occupying the Al Mutawakil school in central Samara. Gunmen also attacked the building as a diversion, and in total four soldiers and one civilian were killed.[582]
    * June 19: Al-Khilani Mosque bombing: A suicide bomber killed 87 people and wounded some 200 more when he rammed his truck into the Khilani Shi'ite mosque in Baghdad.[583][584]
    * June 20: A suicide car bomber killed five policemen and wounded 13 other officers in Ramadi.[585]
    * June 21: A suicide truck bomber killed at least 20 people and wounded 75 when he rammed his vehicle into the municipal headquarters of Sulaiman Bek, about 90 km south of Kirkuk. A suicide truck bomb detonated near a building housing police commandos in Madaen 45 km south of Baghdad, killing three policemen and wounding 12.[586]
    * June 22: Aswat Aliraq reported that a suicide bomber targeted a police checkpoint in al-Baghdadi, killing 20 policemen and wounding 10.[587] A suicide bomber killed two people and wounded four when he blew himself up in a telecommunications office in Falluja.[588] A suicide vest bomber attacked a police checkpoint at al-Somoud bridge in western Fallujah, killing three policemen.[589]
    * June 23: A suicide vest bomber killed two policemen inside Fallujah market after being confronted by them.[590] A car bomb with two apparent suicide bombers on board targeted a U.S. military patrol in Tikrit. The soldiers fired at the car, killing both occupants and causing the vehicle to crash without its cargo being detonated.[591]
    * June 25: A suicide vest bomber blew himself up in the lobby of the Mansour Hotel in Baghdad, killing at least 12 people. Amongst the dead were six tribal leaders, two of their bodyguards, and an anchorman with Iraqiya state television. A suicide bomber in a fuel tanker struck Baiji police headquarters in northern Iraq, killing 27 people including up to 17 policemen.[592] A suicide car bomber targeted a government compound in Hilla, killing at least eight people.[593][594] Shortly after midday a suicide vest bomber detonated on a side-road near Al Waziriyah fuel station in Baghdad. No casualties were reported.[595] In Siniyah, a suicide bomber killed two Iraqi soldiers and wounded three others at a checkpoint.[596]
    * June 27: A suicide car bomber killed one police commando and wounded six others at a police checkpoint in al-Jaderiyia in Baghdad.[597][598]
    * June 29: A suicide car bomber killed four people and wounded 11 when he targeted an Iraqi army position in the Tarmiya neighborhood of Baghdad.[599] A suicide truck bomber killed six Iraqi soldiers and wounded five at an army post in Mishada.[600]
    * June 30: A suicide bomber dressed as a policeman killed up to 25 people when he blew himself up outside a police recruitment centre in Muqdadiya, mostly policemen and volunteers.[601]
    * July 1: A suicide truck bomb hit a police checkpoint in Fallujah, killing two policemen. In Ramadi a suicide car bomb struck a police station or checkpoint, killing five policemen.[602][603] It was also reported that a suicide truck bomb exploded north of Ramadi on a bridge crossing the Euphrates, damaging the bridge and injuring two civilians, though this and the other Ramadi attack were likely one and the same.[604] A suicide bomber killed one civilian and wounded four others when he detonated his cargo during an approach to a police checkpoint near al-Jadriya bridge in Baghdad.[605]
    * July 2: A suicide vest bomber targeted a Fallujah tribal leader, Sheik Kamel Mohammed al-Essawi, killing four civilians and wounding 10 others.[606][607]
    * July 4: A suicide car bomber killed 15 people at a checkpoint near Ramadi. A suicide car bomber killed between three and seven people when he targeted a police patrol outside a restaurant in Baiji.[608][609][610] A suicide car bomber killed two policemen and wounded seven others at a police checkpoint in al-Salam district of Baghdad.[611][612] A suicide bomber killed four police commandos and wounded eight more in Doura district of Baghdad.[613]
    * July 5: A suicide car bomber struck the convoy of a wedding party in Baghdad, killing 17 people.[614]
    * July 6: A suicide car bomb detonated outside a cafe in the Shiite Kurdish village of Ahmad Maref near the Iranian border, killing 26 people. A suicide vest bomber attacked a funeral tent in the Shiite Kurdish village of Zargosh in Jalwla, killing 22.[615][616][617] A Saudi man was detained while trying to carry out a suicide bomb attack in a truck carrying canisters of chloride in Ramadi.[618]
    * July 7: Amirli bombing: Approximately 150 Iraqis were killed and 250 wounded when a suicide truck bomb resembling an Iraqi military vehicle exploded in a busy market in the village of Amirli near Tuz Khurmatu.[619][615] Some reports put the death toll higher than 160, which would make it the deadliest single insurgent bombing since the 2003 invasion.[620][621] A suicide car bomber killed five Iraqi soldiers and one other person at an Iraqi army checkpoint in the Zayuna neighborhood of southeastern Baghdad.[622][623] A suicide bomber attacked a military checkpoint in eastern Baghdad, reportedly wounding 23 people, though it was unclear if this and the Zayuna attack were one and the same.[624]
    * July 8: A suicide bomber attacked a truck carrying military recruits south of Baghdad near Haswa, killing 23 recruits and wounding 27 more.[625] A suicide bomber attacked a U.S. military patrol just west of Baghdad, killing 1 American soldier and wounding three others.[626] A suicide bomber was killed along with three accomplices in Hilla when their bomb exploded prematurely.[627]
    * July 9: A suicide car bomber killed three Iraqi soldiers and four policemen in an attack on a checkpoint in the Doura district of Baghdad.[628][629] An unknown number of people were killed or wounded during a suicide car bombing at funeral in the village of Zarghosh.[630]
    * July 10: A suicide bomber killed one police commando and injured eight in an attack in Saidiya district of Baghdad.[631] A suicide vest bomber on a bicycle detonated next to two police vehicles in the Al Jumhuriyah area of central Fallujah, wounding between one and three people.[632][633][634][635]
    * July 11: In the town of Garmah, two suicide vest bombers blew themselves up amongst a crowd of the al-Jumailat tribe in the house of Sheikh Meshhin al-Khalaf. Later, two more suicide vest bombers mingled in with people evacuating the casualties before detonating their explosives. In total some 21 people were killed and 50 wounded, many critically.[636] In the Al Saidiyah neighborhood of Baghdad police manning a checkpoint opened fire on an approaching car bomb, causing it to detonate and killing the driver.[632]
    * July 12: Seven people were killed when a suicide vest bomber targeted guests celebrating the wedding of an Iraqi policeman in Tal Afar.[637][638] For the second time in three days, a suicide vest bomber on a bicycle wounded a policeman at a checkpoint in Falluja.[639] A suicide bomber killed two people when he targeted a police recruitment centre in Fallujah.[640]
    * July 14: A suicide bomber plowed his explosives-packed vehicle into a line of cars queuing at a Baghdad gas station, killing seven people.[641]
    * July 16: A double suicide car and truck bomb attack in Kirkuk left at least 85 people dead. The targets were the headquarters of the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan, and the Haseer food market. In Baghdad a suicide car bombing struck a police checkpoint on a road leading to an Interior Ministry building, killing four policemen and a civilian.[620][621][642]
    * July 17: A suicide car bomb targeting an Iraqi Army patrol in Baghdad's Zayouna district killed between eight and 20 people.[643]
    * July 22: Two suicide bombers in a minivan struck a house in Taji where Sunni tribal leaders opposed to al Qaeda were meeting, killing between three and five people.[644][645][646][647]
    * July 23:Seven policemen were killed when a female suicide bomber detonated her explosives at a police checkpoint in Ramadi.[648]
    * July 24: A suicide truck bomber struck a crowded market near a children's hospital in Hilla, killing 26 people.[649][650][651]
    * July 25: Two suicide car bombers in Baghdad killed 50 Iraqi soccer fans celebrating their national team's semi-final victory in the Asian Cup. The first struck in Baghdad's Mansour district, and the second hit an army checkpoint in the east of the city.[652][653][654]
    * July 26: A suicide vest bomber blew himself up at the gate of a police station in the northern Tal Abta area, killing five policemen and one civilian.[655][656]
    * July 30: A suicide truck bomb targeting a joint Iraqi army and police checkpoint killed six security members near the town of Balad.[657][658]
    * August 1: A suicide bomber killed 50 people after luring motorists to an explosives-laden fuel truck near a petrol station in Baghdad's Mansour district.[659] A suicide car bomb killed 15-20 people near a popular ice cream shop in the al-Hurriya Square of Baghdad's Karrada district.[660][661]
    * August 2: A suicide car bomber targeted recruits lining up outside a police station in the northern town of Hibhib, killing 13 people.[662]
    * August 5: A suicide car bomb targeted a vehicle workshop at the entrance to the town of Mahmudiya, killing two people and wounded five.[663]
    * August 6: A suicide truck bomber killed at least 28 people including 19 children in Tal Afar.[664][665]
    * August 7: A suicide bomber killed seven people and wounded eight near a market in the village of Salih Al Khalaf, north of Baghdad.[666] A suicide car bomber struck an Amercian checkpoint near the Arab Shoka village north of Baquba, killing 1 U.S. Soldier.[667]
    * August 8: A suicide bomber blew himself up in a barber shop in the Gatoon neighbourhood in Baquba, killing five people and wounding eight.[668]
    * August 9: Police detained a suicide bomber about to detonate an explosive vest in a crowded market in Ba'quba.[669]
    * August 10: In Kirkuk a suicide car bomber killed 11 people and wounded 45 in an attack on a market.[citation needed][670] Four Peshmerga fighters were killed and 14 wounded when a suicide car bomber struck their convoy in Ein Zala village north of Mosul.[671]
    * August 14: [[2007 Qahtaniya bombings|Qahtaniya bombings: Four suicide vehicle bombers massacred hundreds of members of northern Iraq's Yazidi sect in the deadliest post-war attack to date. The final death toll given by the Iraqi government was 411, but the Iraqi Red Crescent reported that over 500 people had been killed and 1500 wounded.[672][673][674] A suicide truck bomber struck the Thiraa Dijla Bridge near Taji, killing ten people and sending three civilian vehicles plunging into the river below.[675][676][677]
    * August 15: A suicide car bomber killed between two and five people when he targeted a senior judge in Hilla.[678] A suicide car bomb struck a police patrol in Mosul, killing one officer.[679] Two suicide bombers were killed in heavy fighting in Buhriz, near Baquba, when their vests detonated prematurely. In total the battle killed 21 insurgents and six civilians.[680]
    * August 21: A suicide vest bomber wounded eight people when he targeted a queue outside a police station in Fallujah. In al-Arafiya, a man died preventing a suicide bomber from reaching a meeting between US soldiers and members of a civilian defence force.[681][682]
    * August 22: A suicide fuel tanker bombing killed 27 people at a Baiji police station. Officials initially put the death toll at 45, but later revised that figure down.[683][684] Ten people were killed when a suicide motorcycle bomber struck a police patrol in a Muqdadiyah marketplace.[684] Two suicide car bombers killed four Iraqi soldiers and wounded 11 US soldiers in an attack on a joint US-Iraqi outpost in Taji.[685][686]
    * August 23: A suicide bomber was killed by police when he targeted a checkpoint in Fallujah's Dam street. Two people were wounded.[687]
    * August 26: The Iraqi army foiled three suicide truck bomb attacks in Mosul, resulting in the death of one of the bombers and the detention of the other two.[688][689]
    * August 27: A suicide vest bomber in Fallujah killed 12 people at the al-Raqeeb Mosque after evening prayers.[690][691]
    * August 28: Police reportedly killed a gunman wearing a suicide vest in Mosul.[692][693]
    * August 31: A suicide car bomber killed four police commandos and wounded seven when he targeted their patrol in al Jallam village near Samarra.[694][695]
    * September 1: A suicide car bomber wounded six people when he targeted an Iraqi army patrol in Mosul.[696]
    * September 2: A suicide car bomber killed two soldiers and injured eight when he targeted the first gate of an Iraqi Army base in Taji.[697]
    * September 3: A suicide car bomb targeted a police checkpoint in the al-Jazeera area near Ramadi, killing two policemen and wounding 13 other people. US forces killed five gunmen who had attacked a police station in al-Saqlawiyah, including one who was wearing a suicide vest.[698][699]
    * September 5: A suicide car bomb at a Mosul checkpoint killed one policeman and wounded 28 other people.[700]
    * September 6: A suicide truck bomber attacked a Marine security checkpoint in Al Anbar province killing 4 U.S. Marines.[701]
    * September 8: A suicide car bomb near a Sadr City police station in Baghdad killed 15 and wounded 45 others.[702][703]
    * September 9: A suicide fuel tanker bombing hit an Iraqi army checkpoint near a bridge in Balad, Salahuddin province. Four soldiers were killed and 15 wounded.[704] Two people were killed and six wounded when a suicide car bomber targeted an Iraqi army checkpoint in Mahmudiya.[705][706]
    * September 10: A suicide truck bomb killed at least ten people and wounded 60 others in the village of Tal Marag, near Mosul, when he targeted the offices of the Kurdish Democratic Party.[707][708] A suicide bomber attacked a Saqlawiyah police checkpoint, killing two policemen and two civilians and wounding two other policemen.[709]
    * September 14: A suicide bomber attacked a police checkpoint at a restaurant in Baiji killing 11 people, including nine policemen, and wounding 15 others.[710][711][712]
    * September 15: Ten people were killed and 15 injured when a suicide car bomber blew up his vehicle near a bakery in Baghdad's southwestern Amil district as Muslims were preparing to break the Ramadan fast.[713][714][715] The Iraqi military detained a would-be suicide bomber in Mosul.[716][714][715]
    * September 16: A bomb - either attached to a suicide bomber or a booby-trapped bicycle - killed six people at an outdoor cafe in the northern town of Tuz Khurmato.[717][718]
    * September 18: A suicide bomber killed a civilian in the Baladiyat neighborhood of Baghdad. A suicide bomber attacked a mobile phone shop in Jalawlaa, killing four and wounded 15 others. In Mosul Iraqi soldiers killed a suicide bomber before he attacked their convoy but two soldiers were still wounded.[719] Also a suicide bomber attacked a U.S. military patrol in central Iraq killing 1 U.S. Soldier [720]
    * September 22: In Hibhib a suicide bomber attacked an army checkpoint wounding five people, including Iraqi soldiers.[721]
    * September 24: A suicide bomber attacked a gathering of local leaders in Baquba, the chief of police was among the 28 dead and another 50 were wounded, one other police official was killed and 2 U.S. soldiers were among the wounded.[722] In Abu Maria, a suicide truck bomber killed six people, including two policemen and an Iraqi soldier, and wounded 17 others at a checkpoint.[723]
    * September 25: A suicide car bomber in Basra killed three policemen and wounded 20 during an attack on a police station. In Mosul, a suicide bomber detonated his vest near a police colonel; ten were wounded, including the police officer and a judge. A suicide car bomber targeted the head of the Hawija City Council; the chairman, two guards, and a civilian were wounded.[724]
    * September 26: A suicide bomber killed a civilian and wounded another in Baghdad. A suicide bomber killed three people and wounded 50 in Mosul. Also, police killed a suicide bomber before he could detonate his cargo. A suicide bomber in Fallujah caused no casualties.[725]
    * September 29: A suicide bomber in Mosul killed five policemen and one civilian and wounded 21.[726]
    * October 1: In Mosul a suicide car bomber killed a university professor and wounded seven other people.[727]
    * October 2: In Khalis a suicide bomber attacked a police station killing six people, including two policemen.[728]
    * October 4: A suicide bomber in Tal Afar killed three people and wounded 57 at a marketplace.[729]
    * October 8: A suicide truck bomber destroyed a police station in the village of Dijlah, north of Baghdad, killing 13 people, including 3 policemen, and wounding 22 other people. A suicide bomber attacked a police checkpoint in Tikrit killing 3 policemen and 1 civilian and wounded 10 other people. A suicide bomber wounded seven policemen in Khalis.[730] A suicide bomber in the Arab Jabour area on Baghdads' southern outskirts blew himself up to avoid capture wounding 2 U.S. special forces soldiers.[731]
    * October 9: 22 people were killed and 30 were wounded in an attack by two suicide truck bombers in Baiji.[732]
    * October 10: A suicide bomber attacked the KDP headquarters in Mosul killing seven people and wounding 20. A suicide bomber attacked an army base in al-Zab killing one Iraqi soldier and wounding seven others.[733]
    * October 11: A suicide bomber attacked a cafe in Baghdad killing 8 people and wounding 25. A suicide bomber attacked the PUK headquarters in Mosul wounding 8 people, including 4 PUK guards.[734]
    * October 14: A suicide car bomber killed 18 people and wounded 37 in Samara in an attack near a mosque. A suicide bomber also attacked a police commando station in Samara killing 4 police commandos and wounding 9. In the village of Baghdadi near Ramadi, a suicide car bomber killed four members of a police major’s family and wounded eight others.[735]
    * October 15: In Baghdad, a suicide car bomber killed four people and wounded 25 others. A suicide car bomber attacked a checkpoint of a U.S.-allied Iraqi militia in Balad killing 6 militiamen and wounding 8. A policeman and four members of his family were killed when a suicide bomber drove into the policeman’s home in Heit.[736]
    * October 16: A suicide truck bomber killed 16 people and wounded 80 in an attack on a police station in Mosul.[737]
    * October 26: A suicide bomber killed a woman and wounded four other people in an attack on the headquarters of the U.S.-allied Iraqi militia, 1920s Revolution Brigades, in Muqdadiyah.

2008

    * January 1: A suicide bomber kills more than 30 people and injures 32 in an attack in Baghdad. The blast is targeted at mourners at the funeral of a Shia army officer, Nabil Hussein Jassim, who had himself been killed by a car bombing in central Baghdad three days earlier.[738]
    * January 7: A double bombing in Baghdad kills at least 14 people, including Riyadh Samarrai, leader of the US-backed Adhamiya Awakening group, which fights al-Qaeda in Sunni areas of the city.[739]
    * January 16: A female suicide bomber blows herself up near a Shia mosque in the town of Khan Bani Saad Diyala, killing 11 others. Eighteen people are wounded in the attack, near a market in the town, south of Baqubah in the Diyala Governorate.[740]
    * A January 24 suicide bomber kills a high-ranking police chief and two other police officers in Mosul at the site of an explosion that had killed at least 34 people and wounded at least 217 the day before. Brigadier General Salah Mohammed al-Jubouri, the director of police for Ninawa Governorate, was inspecting the scene of Wednesday's blast when gunmen ambushed his convoy.[741]
    * February 1: Two bombs explode in Baghdad animal markets killing 99 people and wounding 200. The Iraqi government claims that the bombs were carried by women and detonated remotely.[742]
    * February 24: A leader of a Sunni Awakening Council group, Sheikh Ibrahim Mutayri al-Mohammedi, is killed in a suicide bombing in Falluja.[743]
    * February 25: A man in a wheelchair blew himself up in a northern Iraqi police station, killing three National Police officers, including a commander.[744]
    * March 3: A pair of car bombings targeting Iraqi security forces killed at least 18 people and wounded dozens in Baghdad.[745]
    * March 6: Fifty-three people were killed and 125 were wounded in two bomb attacks in a Baghdad commercial district.[746]
    * March 10: A suicide bomber struck in central Baghdad killing 5 American soldiers on foot patrol, 3 other soldiers and an Iraqi interpreter were wounded in the Blast. Witnesses say the suicide bomber walked up to a group of soldiers near a computer hardware store, allegedly giving a hug to a Personnel before detonating his explosive vest.[747]
    * March 17: A female suicide bomber apparently targeting Shiite worshippers killed at least 33 people and wounded at least 50 in Karbala.[748]
    * March 19: In Baquba, five people were killed and 16 wounded when a suicide bomber detonated his explosives belt in a public market. Another suicide bomb wounded 11 Iraqi soldiers and 3 civilians in Mosul. [33]
    * March 22: A roadside bomb blast struck an Iraqi police patrol in Kirkuk, killing a civilian and wounding nine people.[749]
    * March 23: 13 Iraqi soldiers were killed by a suicide bomber who drove a fuel tanker into an army base in Mosul and at least 40 people were injured.[750]
    * March 27: A car bomb explosion killed three people and wounded five others near a police patrol in central Baghdad.[751]
    * March 29: A car bomb explosion killed three people and wounded five others near a police patrol in central Baghdad.[751]
    * March 31: A suicide car bomber killed 5 US backed Sunni fighters at a checkpoint in Siniya, at least eight other people were injured.[752]
    * April 3: A suicide bomber attacked a checkpoint near Mosul, killing 7 people and wounding 12 (the US military claims 5 killed and 19 injured).[753]
    * April 4: A suicide bomber killed at least 15 people in an attack on on the funeral for a Sunni policeman in the province of Diyala, in the town of Saadiyah.[754]
    * April 11: Suicide bombings killed at least four people -- three of them police. The first bombing was in Ramadi, the provincial capital of the predominantly Sunni Anbar province. At least three national police officers were killed. The second attack took place at a checkpoint about 20 km north of Baiji, the bomber and one other person a local Awakening Council were killed. Also, at least three people were killed in a mortar attack on Baghdad's Palestine Hotel.[755]
    * April 14: Three people died in the nearby city of Tal Afar when a suicide attacker blew himself up at an Iraqi soldier's funeral.[756]
    * April 15: A wave of bombings blamed on Al-Qaeda in Iraq-jihadists shook Baghdad, Baquba, Ramadi and Mosul, killing at least 60 people. Nonetheless, the overall violence in Baquba has decreased by 80% since June 2007.[756] In Baquba, as many as 53 people were killed and at least 70 more were wounded during a car bombing near the courthouse.[757] A suicide bomber killed 13 people and injured 20 more outside a kebab restaurant in Ramadi.[758] Five policemen were killed and four more were wounded during a suicide bombing at a checkpoint in the Hamidiya area of Ramadi.[759] In Mosul, a double car bombing killed three people and wounded at least 16 people.[760] In Baghdad, a car bomb targeting a police patrol killed four people and wounded 15 in a central neighborhood.[757]
    * April 17: A suicide bomber killed at least 15 people and wounded many others in a suicide attack on a crowd of mourners in Baquba, during the funeral of two members of a local group who had died fighting al-Qaeda in Iraq militants.[761]
    * April 18: A suicide bomber attacked a U.S. military patrol near Tikrit killing 1 US soldier and wounding 4 others.[762]
    * April 21: A female suicide bomber attacked a U.S.-allied militia post, killing four people and wounding five others in Baquba.[763]
    * April 22: A female suicide bomber killed six people and wounded a dozen others when she blew herself up north of Baghdad according to Iraqi police.[764] A suicide car bomber at a checkpoint near Ramadi killed 2 U.S. Marines and wounded 3 more. Two policemen and 24 civilians were also wounded. A second car bombing, this one at a police station in the city, wounded 20 people, including women and policemen.[765] In Jalawla, a female suicide bomber killed eight people and wounded 17 at a police station.[766]
    * April 26: A series of co-ordinated bomb attacks has killed at least seven people and injured more than 20 in the northern Iraqi city of Mosul.[767]
    * April 29: At least 9 people were killed and were 23 wounded in a bomb attack in central Baghdad, Iraqi police say.[768]
    * May 1: At least 35 people have been killed in a double suicide bombing in the Iraqi province of Diyala, officials say. At least 76 other people are said to have been injured.[769]
    * May 14: A suicide bomber killed 20 people and wounded dozens more when he blew himself up at a funeral west of Baghdad on Wednesday, there was no claim for responsibility but Iraqi police suspect al-Qaeda in Iraq.[770] A teen aged girl blew herself up outside an Iraqi army post south of Baghdad on Wednesday, killing one soldier, the U.S. military said.[771]
    * May 16: A car bomb which struck an Iraqi police station in Fallujah injured four Iraqi police officers.[772]
    * May 17: A female suicide bomber targeted a US-backed militia office in Baquba, killing one woman and wounding 16.[773]
    * May 26: A suicide bomber on a motorcycle struck a checkpoint manned by Iraqi police and US-backed Sunni militia, killing four people including a policeman, two awakening council guards and a civilian.[774]
    * May 27: A car bombing in the city of Talafer, some 70 km west of Mosul, killed 4 people and injured 46.[775]
    * May 29: A suicide bomber killed 14 police recruits and two policemen in northern Iraq.[776] 19 others were killed in 2 other suicide bombings that day.[777]
    * June 1: At least two people were killed and five others wounded in a car bomb explosion at a parking lot near the Iranian embassy in central Baghdad.[778]
    * June 2: A suicide bomber killed at least five policemen and four civilians in the northern Iraqi city of Mosul and wounded 46 Also 1 US soldier was killed and 4 wounded when a suicide car bomber Targeted their check point near Fallujah.[779]
   * June 4: A suicide bomber drove a truck towards the house of police Brigadier-General Nadhim Taeih, in northern Baghdad, killing at least 13 people and wounding 50.[780]
    * June 7: A suicide car bomb and another car packed with explosives targeted Iraqi police patrols Saturday on opposite sides of Baghdad, killing at least six people.[781]
    * June 8: A suicide bomber blew himself up near a patrol base in Iraq killing 1 US-soldier, wounding 18 others in Baghdad.[782]
    * June 9: A car bomb, targeting an Iraqi police checkpoint near a shopping centre in Baghdad's district of Karada killed 1 policeman, 4 civilians and injured 10 people. Bombings in Diyala killed 1 and injured 7.[783]
    * June 10: The head of Saddam Hussein's tribe was blown up in a car bomb explosion in the town of Awja.[784]
    * June 14: A female suicide bomber in Northern Iraq injured 29 Iraqi football fans after the Iraq-China match.[785]
    * June 15: In Mosul, a suicide car bombing killed a policeman and wounded six people.[786]
    * June 17: A car bomb explosion at a busy bus stop in northern Baghdad killed 51 people and injured 75.[787] The Death toll later went up to 63.[788]
    * June 20: A suicide car bomb attacked a police checkpoint in Iraq's northern city of Mosul, killing 5 policemen.[789]
    * June 22: At least 15 people were killed by a female suicide bomber in the northern Iraqi city of Baquba. The attack was blamed on al-Qaeda.[790]
    * June 24: An overnight suicide car bomb explosion near a police station in the city of Mosul, the capital of Nineveh province, killed two people and wounded more than 70 others.[791]
    * June 25: Iraqi police say a suicide bomber has detonated an explosive belt inside the municipal council headquarters in a town west of Baghdad during a meeting of tribal sheiks, at least seven people were killed in the blast, including some sheiks and the town's administrative director.[792]
    * June 26: At least 38 people were killed in two massive bomb attacks, 20 of them were killed by a suicide bomber as they held an anti-al Qaeda meeting. The other 18 were killed in a car-bombing in Mosul, which also injured 80.[793]
    * June 27: In al-Anbar province a suicide bombing killed 3 US-soldiers and injured another 2, including 20 people and anti-al Qaeda Sheikhs.[794] al-Qaeda in Iraq later claimed responsibility.[795]
    * June 29:A suicide car bomber killed seven policemen and wounded three in an attack on a patrol in northern Iraq's Salahuddin province.[796]
    * June 30: Five Iraqi civilians were injured in a car bomb explosion in western Baghdad.[797]
    * July 1: A car bomb hit an Iraqi police patrol in the city of Mosul, the capital of Nineveh province, killing a civilian and injuring six.[798]
    * July 6: A car bomb killed 4 and wounded 16 in Baghdad.[799] Later the death toll rose to 6 killed (and 14 wounded).[800]
    * July 7: A female suicide bomber kills 9 and injures 12 in Baquba.[801]
    * July 8: Two car bombings in Fallujah kill 3 policemen and a civilian.[802]
    * July 9: A suicide car bomber in targeting soldiers in northern Iraq on Wednesday killed five civilians and wounded 21.[803]
    * July 10: A suicide car bomb attacked an Iraqi army patrol in western Baghdad on Thursday, killing two civilians and wounding 13 people.[804]
    * July 15: At least five people were killed and 54 others wounded in a suicide attack near an Iraqi army base north of Baghdad.[805] In Baquba there were 2 suicide bombings and in total 23 people were killed and 70 injured. The bombings targeted Iraqi Army recruits.[806] Later the death toll there rose to 28 people killed (and 64 injured)[807] A car-bombing in Mosul wounded 6 people.[808]
    * July 16: In Mosul a car bomb killed 16 and wounded 94.[809]
    * July 18: A suicide car bomb struck an Iraqi army patrol in Nineveh province on Friday, killing three soldiers and injuring seven others, a provincial police source said.[810]
    * July 24: Iraqi police say at least eight people have been killed in a suicide bombing at a checkpoint manned by U.S.-allied Sunni guards northeast of Baghdad.[811]
    * July 27: A car bomb on Sunday wounded a Sunni political leader and his son and killed two of his bodyguards.[812]
    * July 28: Three suicide bombers struck a Shiite pilgrimage in Baghdad and a Kurdish protest rally in northern Iraq, killing at least 57 people and wounding nearly 300.[813]
    * July 31: A suicide car bomber rammed an explosives-laden vehicle into the wall of a police station near Mosul, killing three policemen and wounding four.[814]
    * August 3: A series of bomb attacks in Baghdad early on Sunday killed 12 people and wounded at least 31, government sources said.[815]
    * August 12: Two Iraqis were killed and at least six others wounded when a female suicide bomber struck a convoy carrying senior Iraqi officials in Baquba[816]
    * August 13: A suicide truck bomber targeted the mayor of a town near the oil-rich city of Kirkuk on Wednesday, while another car bomb struck civilians elsewhere in northern Iraq, two people were killed.[817]
    * August 17: A suicide bomber killed at least 15 people and wounded 29 near a mosque in a mainly Sunni part of the Iraqi capital Baghdad.[818]
    * August 24: A suicide bomber has blown himself up at a car dealership in the northern Iraqi city of Kirkuk, killing at least five people and wounding nine.[819]
    * August 25: At least 21 people were killed in a suicide bomb attack in Abu Ghraib district of Baghdad. Around 32 people, including women and children, were injured in the attack.[820]
    * September 1: A suicide car bomber on Tuesday struck an Iraqi army checkpoint in the city of Mosul, the capital of Nineveh province, killing seven people and wounding seven others.[821]
    * September 6: Six people were killed in a suicide car bomb attack on Iraqi deputy prime minister Ahmad Chalabi's convoy in western Baghdad. 50 people were wounded[822]
    * September 12: At least 27 Iraqis were killed and about 40 others wounded in a suicide bombing targeting a police station in northern province of Salahuddin.[823] At least 28 people have been killed in a suicide car bombing in a town north of Baghdad. The blast targeted a police station in the commercial district of the mainly Shia town of Dujail. At least 40 others were injured in the explosion.[824] A suicide bomber blew himself up in front of a Shiite mosque in northern Iraq as worshippers left prayers at midday on Friday, killing two civilians and wounding 15.[825]
    * September 15: At least 12 people were killed today and 36 injured when two car bombs exploded in quick succession in central Baghdad.[826] In Diyala 20 were killed and 30 wounded when a woman suicide bomber blew herself up.[827]
    * September 17: wo car bombs exploded in quick succession, killing eight people and wounding 25 others in western Baghdad's Harithiya district.[828]
    * September 28: At least 12 people were killed and dozens more wounded in 2 car bombings in a western Baghdad.[829]
    * October 2: Suicide bombers struck Shi'a worshippers as they gathered for prayers at two mosques in Baghdad to celebrate the Muslim Eid al-Fitr feast, killing 16 people and wounding nearly 60.[830]
    * October 8: A woman suicide bomber blew herself up at an entrance of an Iraqi court in the city of Baquba, killing 6 and wounding 18.[831]
    * October 9: A suicide bomber killed three policeman and wounded eight more at a station in Habbaniya.
    * October 12: At least nine people were killed and 13 wounded in a car bombing at a market in Baghdad.[832]
    * October 13: Suicide car bombers struck twice yesterday in the northern city of Mosul, killing at least six people and wounding dozens of others.[833] In Balad a suicide bomber wounded 3 policemen.
    * October 17: Iraqi officials say bomb near north Baghdad mosque kills 3 Shiite worshippers.[834]
    * October 18: A female suicide bomber wounded five members of a local Awakening Council who were manning a checkpoint in Dhuluiya (a Sunni town, 90 kilometers north of Baghdad).[835]
    * October 22: A car bombing by al-Qaeda killed four people and wounded three in Mosul.[836]
    * October 23: 9 people were killed and 20 injured when a suicide bombing targeted a convoy carrying Iraqi minister Mahmoud Jawad al-Radi, in Baghdad. al-Radi himself remained unharmed.[837] Later the death toll rose to 11 killed and 22 injured.[838]
   * November 5: 4 Iraqis were killed and 10 injured in a suicide car-bombing at a checkpoint near Baghdad Airport.[839]
    * November 8: In West of Baghdad, a suicide bomber killed eight people and wounded 17 more at a police checkpoint near the former Sunni insurgent stronghold of Ramadi in Anbar province.[840]
    * November 10: 25 people were killed and 48 injured during a suicide bombing and a car-bombing in Baghdad.[841]
    * November 15: A suicide car bombing near a car dealership killed 11 Iraqis and wounded 36 in the northern city of Tal Afar.[842]
    * November 16: A suicide car bombing killed 14 people and wounded 20 others Sunday in the town of Jalawla.[843]
    * November 24: A female suicide bomber killed 5 people outside Baghdad's Green Zone compound.[844]
    * November 28: A suicide bombing attack on Friday killed at least 8 people and wounded 15 at a Shiite mosque in Baghdad.[845]
    * December 1: A car bombing and suicide vest bombing targeting a police academy in eastern Baghdad Monday killed at least 16 people and wounded 46 others.[846]
    * December 2: 5 people (including a policeman) were killed and 30 (including 4 Security Forces) were injured in a suicide bombing in Tal Afar.[847]
    * December 3: A double suicide car bomb attacks struck two police stations in the city of Fallujah, in Anbar province, killing 15 and wounding 147.[848] The death toll later rise to 17.[849]
    * December 4: 2 U.S. soldiers were killed and 9 Iraqis wounded when a suicide car bomb exploded in the northern city of Mosul.[850]
    * December 6: A suicide bomber blew himself up at a crowd of police recruits outside a police academy in Iraq's northern oil-rich city of Kirkuk on Saturday, killing a police recruit and wounding 15 others.[851]
    * December 11: A suicide bombing in a Kirkuk restaurant killed at least 61 people, wounding 75.[852]
    * December 14: A woman suicide bomber on Monday killed an Awakening Council group leader at the front door of his house in a town north of Baghdad.[853]
    * December 15: At least 9 policemen were killed and up to 31 others wounded in a suicide car bomb attack on an Iraqi security checkpoint in a town west of Baghdad.[854][855]
    * December 25: A car bomb outside a restaurant in Baghdad has killed four persons and wounded 25 others.[856]
    * December 27: A car bomb killed at least 22 people and wounded 54 more when it exploded at a Baghdad bus station.[857]
    * December 28: A suicide bomber on a bicycle blew himself up Sunday amid a crowd of demonstrators in northern Iraq who were protesting Israel's airstrikes on Gaza, killing 1 demonstrator and wounding 16. Sunni Iraqi Islamic Party spokesman Yahiya Abid Majhoub stated: "The ones who targeted our brothers in Gaza are the same who targeted us in Mosul today. They are agents of Israel"[858]

2009

    * January 2: At least 23 people have been killed and 110 injured in a suicide bombing in Yusufiya, a town south of Baghdad.[859]
    * January 4: A female suicide bomber blows herself up among a crowd of pilgrims worshipping at the Imam Mousa al-Kazim shrine in northern Baghdad, killing 38 people and wounding 72.[860][861]
   * February 5: A female suicide bomber killed 15 and wounded 13 in a suicide bombing in a restaurant in Baquba.[862]
    * February 9 : A suicide car bombing occurred at a American checkpoint in the northern Iraqi city of Mosul, killing 4 US soldiers and wounding 3 More.[863]
    * February 13: A female suicide bomber killed more than 30 Shia pilgrims and injured 35 in an attack on Shia pilgrims in a region north of Hillah.[864] The death toll, later rose to 35 with 76 being injured, including 28 children.[865]
    * March 8: Baghdad police recruitment centre bombing: suicide bomber on a motorcycle blew himself up as he entered a crowd of people outside a police recruitment centre killing 28.[866]
    * March 10: Suicide car bomb went off outside a national reconciliation conference in Baghdad, killing at least 33 and wounding 46.[867]
    * April 6: A spate of bombings in the same day (of unknown coordination) kills 32 and injures another 124 more.[868]
    * April 10: 8 people, including 5 US soldiers were killed and 60 people were wounded when a suicide truck bomber breached the outer security barrier of Iraqi National Police headquarters in southern Mosul, and detonated his explosives.[869]
    * April 11: At least nine people were killed and another 23 wounded on Saturday when a suicide bomber struck the headquarters of a US-allied Sunni militia south of Baghdad.[870]
    * April 16: 26 people were injured after a suicide bomber in Iraq's Anbar province attacked an army base.[871]
    * April 20: 8 US soldiers and 9 civilians were badly injured in a suicide bombing in Baquba, capital of the Diyala province. The suicide bomber was wearing a police uniform , According to the deputy mayor of the city the bomber mingled in with Iraqi and us soldiers before setting off his explosive vest .[872]
    * April 23: 57 people,[873] including 53 Iranian pilgrims were killed in a suicide bombing in a restaurant in Muqdadiya, in Diyala.[874] As many as 55 were injured[875] In another suicide bombing 28 people were killed and 52 wounded in a suicide attack on a police patrol in southeastern Baghdad.[876]
    * April 24: 30 people were killed in a suicide bombing outside the most important Shi'a shrine in Baghdad.[877] The death toll of this double bombing reached 60.[878] It included 25 Iranian pilgrims.[879] 125 people were injured.[880]
    * May 1: A suicide bombing near a coffee shop in Mosul killed 6 people.[881]
    * May 4: 4 people were killed and 7 injured in a double car bombing in Baghdad.[882]
    * May 12: 5 policemen and 1 civilian were killed whereas 11 people were injured after a suicide bombing in Kirkuk.[883]
    * May 21: A suicide bombing in Kirkuk killed 5 awakening militia.[884] Separately, 15 people were killed including 3 US soldiers and also 30 were injured as well as 7 US Service man when a suicide bombing struck a US Army patrol in Southern Baghdad.[885]
    * May 24: 34 people were wounded by a suicide bombing in a Kurdish area of Mosul.[886]
    * June 1: A suicide bombing at a police checkpoint in Diyala killed a policeman and wounded 9.[887]
    * June 4: 1 civilian was killed and 6 were injured by a car-suicide bombing in Mosul.[888]
    * June 6: A suicide bombing in al-Anbar, targetting the governorate's police chief, injured two of his bodyguards.[889]
    * June 20: 15 people were killed and 150 were injured by a truck-suicide bombing at a Shi'a Mosque in Kirkuk.[890]
    * June 22: 7 policemen were killed and 13 people were injured by a suicide bombing in Abu Gharib.[891]
    * July 29: 7 people died during an explosion of a Sunni political party office near Baghdad.
    * August 13: At least 20 people were killed and 30 wounded in a double suicide bombing in northern Iraq, an Iraqi Interior Ministry official said. Two suicide bombers with explosive vests carried out the attack at a cafe in Sinjar, a town west of Mosul. In Sinjar, many townspeople are members of the Yazidi minority.[892]
   * August 18: 101 people are killed during simultaneous suicide truck and car bombings at the Iraq's Foreign and Finance ministries.[893]
    * August 29: A suicide bomber detonates a van full of explosives outside a police base in Salahudin province, north of Baghdad, killing nine Iraqi police officers and wounding at least 14 others.
    * August 30: A suicide car bombing at a checkpoint in Baghdad's Adhamiya neighborhood kills at least one person and injures 12 others.
    * September 17: Three civilians are killed and three police officers are wounded when a suicide truck bomber attacks a police checkpoint in Tal Afar, approximately 260 miiles northwest of Baghdad.
    * October 11: A series of apparently coordinated bombings aimed at a meeting for national reconciliation killed 23 people and wounded 65 others in western Iraq, but they did not injure the officials who were at the gathering. About one hour after the first two bombings, a man driving a car filled with explosives attempted to speed through a security checkpoint near the Ramadi General Hospital; he was shot by a police officer at the checkpoint but managed to explode the car, killing himself and wounding two others..[894]
    * October 25: Bomb blasts against governmental municipalities buildings kill at least 155 people and injure more than 700 others in central Baghdad, in the deadliest attack in Iraq since August 2007.[895]

Kabul in a China Shop

KABUL, Afghanistan (The Dissociated Press) - After threatening for the past several weeks to bring the United State's delicately crafted image of his country as a functioning democracy crashing down before the world, Afghan president Hamid Karzai bowed to intense pressure from Washington Tuesday and admitted that he had falsely reported to police and the Afghanistan National Television network (ANTV) that his 2 year-old son, Mirwais, had drifted away in a large home-built helium balloon. Karzai said he made the report in order to elicit public sympathy and drum up support for his bid to become a part owner of the St. Louis Rams professional football team.

Mr. Karzai also admitted that during August 20th's presidential election "a few of [his] supporters might have accidentally dropped" six or seven hundred-thousand ballots, with his name on them, into voting boxes around the country, and he agreed to participate in a two-man run-off election next month.

Karzai, who is making his first bid for reelection since December 2004, when he won Afghanistan's presidency in a game of Donkey Kong with then-US secretary of state, Colin Powell, was previously insistent that he had garnered well over 50% of the votes in the August election, obviating the need for a run-off. However, charges of electoral fraud and malfeasance were levied against the president and his campaign almost immediately by other candidates and numerous non-partisan "observer" organizations, including Amnesty International, the Audubon Society of Sheboygan County, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, and Save the Delta Smelt.

The debate over foul play in the election became so heated that it raged even within the United Nations' mission here. Its number 2 official, Peter W. Galbraith, accused the mission chief, Kai Eide, of trying to cover up the corruption of Mr. Karzai's campaign, which Mr. Eide angrily denied. Still, Mr. Eide was publicly dismissive, on several occasions, of the claims made by Mr. Galbraith and others of electoral irregularities. On September 30th, UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon intervened, recalling Mr. Galbraith from Afghanistan, citing the fact that Mr. Eide "is from Norway and hates smelt."

Mr. Galbraith was vindicated when a subsequent UN investigation concluded that of the over 5 million votes the Karzai campaign claimed to have won, only 53 were legitimate.

There is now scheduled to be a November 7th run-off between President Karzai and his closest competitor, former foreign minister Abdullah Abdullah Rosanna Danna. Mr. Karzai's decision to agree to the run-off came as a relief to the US, which, had he not done so, was planning to invade Burundi.

When R-E-C-E-S-S-I-O-N Spells "Recovery"

WASHINGTON (The Dissociated Press) - The US military announced Tuesday it has met all of its annual recruiting goals for the year - the first time that has happened since the mid 1970s, when young people starting realizing that the last time the US military had actually defended American territory was in 1812.

In announcing the milestone, the Pentagon said the nation’s worst economic crisis since the Great Depression played a key role in boosting enlistments.

"We've found through years of careful research that, in times of mass unemployment and poor economic outlook, people, particularly males in their late teens and early twenties, start looking for places where they can get guns," said senior Pentagon recruiting official, Capt. Curtis Gilroy. "We give guns to young people with few other prospects. It's really that simple!"

Meanwhile, at the White House, President Obama convened top political, military, and national security aides in an Afghan "war council" meeting Wednesday, his 63rd since last Friday, to discuss whether or not to wait until he has accepted the Nobel Peace Prize before sending 40,000 - 60,000 additional American troops to Afghanistan to intensify the 8 year-old military occupation of that country.

Mr. Obama will travel to Oslo, Norway in December, where he will be presented with the 2009 Nobel Prize for Peace in the presence of Norway's reigning monarch, King Harald V, affectionately known by his countrymen as "Old Cue Ball." As tradition has it, the award ceremony will take place in the Oslo City Hall, where the American president also plans to appeal a 2002 parking ticket (for leaving his reindeer within 4 meters of a fjord) before a local magistrate.

The President's triumphant return to Scandinavia should help remove some of the sting from his rejection last month in Copenhagen by the International Olympic Committee. On September 28th, Mr. Obama appeared in person before the IOC and gave an impassioned speech, trying to convince its members to allow Oprah Winfrey to host the 2016 Olympic Games.

However, the IOC rejected Mr. Obama's appeal, instead awarding the games to Jesus Christ, who is shown here standing atop the new, state-of-the-art, 735 meter-high platform-diving facility he said "God built specifically for these games."

Only in America

OSLO, Norway (The Dissociated Press) - Senior White House officials are acknowledging that the choice of President Barack Obama Friday as the 2009 recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize constitutes a "huge political liability" for the new administration, which has been struggling in its first 7 months to grapple with two wars, a global financial crisis, health care reform, and the need to prove that the Commander in Chief is not, as claimed by the Republican leadership, a native of Namibia.

The Nobel Committee awarded the prize to Mr. Obama mostly "in recognition of his efforts to advance the use of unmanned drones for the delivery of heavy lethal ordnance to out-of-the-way areas of military conflict," according to a statement issued here Friday by its press secretary, Abjörn the Viking. The statement cited the fact that the pilots of such drones can conduct their missions from computer consoles located at military bases, or suburban shopping malls, in the U.S., only a few miles from their homes --- as opposed to having to be thousands of miles away from their families, for extended periods, and possibly even in danger --- as "a key development in the pursuit of peace."

"The Nobel Committee believes that allowing parents to spend more time with their spouses and children anywhere is a critical step toward achieving a lasting peace everywhere," Viking said. "And, through his increased use of unmanned drones for bombing missions in Iraq, Somalia, and southern Asia, Mr. Obama has taken that step in a way no other nominee for this year's prize has!"

However, Mr. Obama's top advisors, who came to Norway to encourage the Committee to revisit its decision, --- perhaps to even have Iran's president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, conduct a recount of the votes --- could not hide their concern.

"You have to understand that in the unique political environment of the United States --- where only a third of eligible adults votes, fewer than half of those voters read books, and less than a quarter of those books contain actual words --- it is viewed as a sign of weakness, even ineptitude, to be interested in, no less promoting peace!" said one high-level aide who asked not to be identified. "With all the President's trying to do to bring affordable health care to all Americans, combat global warming, salvage the U.S. economy, and end the practice of torture by U.S. military and intelligence interrogators, those drone-launched missile strikes were just about the only thing giving him credibility! And now they've gone and given him a Peace Prize for them??!! Talk about the luck of the damned!!"


And, in a somewhat related story . . .


Mountain View, California (The Dissociated Press) - NASA scientists and engineers were slightly crestfallen Friday after learning that a heavy impactor rocket, which was supposed to crash into the Moon's surface and kick up tons of lunar matter in a miles-high plume from which substantial amounts of water-ice might be detected, had instead landed on a wedding party in Afghanistan.

Patriots Weakened

PALO ALTO, California (The Dissociated Press) -

Last Friday was September 11th, anniversary of
The day the airplane targeted towers tumbled
In four flashes, hundreds perished
Thousands more entombed beneath smoldering rubble
Eager War Machine busted out of his flimsy corral,
No time to ask questions, to reflect, to mourn
To speak of peace was to invite scorn
Constitution shredded, the fourth estate embedded
This is how "Patriot's Day" was born

So, how was your Patriot's Weekend?

Did you ignore the growing death and destruction in Afghanistan?...
The continued mayhem in Iraq?...
News, in this country, of increasing poverty and unemployment?...
Did you crack open a cold Bud in front of the wide-screen HD,
And revel in the opening weekend of the NFL season?

Did you keep your thoughts from the tens of thousands of New Orleans' poor,
Whose houses and schools, wrecked by Katrina, have yet to be rebuilt?...
Who continue, four years hence, to live in decrepit, condemned buildings or cheap government trailers?...
Or cities and towns hundreds of miles from home,
Refugees of the storm,
In a country that couldn't build a levee, or give a damn?..
Did you go shopping?

Did you remain ignorant of the record profits of Chevron and Exxon-Mobil?...
The massive earnings of Pfizer and United Health?...
Did you blame the Arabs for the high price of gasoline?...
And illegal immigrants for the high price of health care?
Did you order Freedom Fries with your burger?

Did you unburden your conscience from the plight of the broken, homeless vet,
You passed begging for money on the sidewalk,
And the tens of thousands like him, or worse,
The ones you don't ever see,
Minds or bodies, or both, destroyed,
Wracked with suicidal depression, or homicidal rage,
Or decaying in the remote, caustic warehouses of a society that starts wars like fifty-cent games in an arcade but is loathe to view their human cost?
Did you say that to bring the troops home now would mean those who died had died in vain?

Did you glibly dismiss scientists' warnings about water shortages, endangered species, and global warming?...
Did you leave the central air on high? Water the lawn midday? Take a 20 minute shower?

Did you remain ignorant of the militarized border walls?...
Secret prisons and torture sites?...
Infiltrated and undermined anti-war protests?...
Omnipresent surveillance cameras?...
Censorship of art, poetry, and music?...
Massive I.C.E. raids?...
Domestic spying, brought to you by AT&T, Verizon, and Comcast?...
Did you think to yourself, "They hate us for our freedom!"?

Were you entertained by the media voices of the political Reich?...
Limbaugh, Beck, O'Reilly, Hannity, North, Liddy ... so many more,
For whom Liberty's verse of freedom is just a torch song?...
Did your thoughts turn once to the likes of Jefferson or Madison or Paine?
Or, were they simply patriots weakened,
In the celebration of Patriot's Weekend?

Could We (Health) Care Less ?!!!

WASHINGTON (The Dissociated Press) - Responding to widespread allegations that the Bolsheviks are looking to establish a North American beachhead through the U.S. health care system, the Obama administration appeared to back away last week from its long-standing commitment to require a "strong public option" in health care reform legislation.

The charges, originally levied by congressional Republicans and "fiscally conservative" Democrats --- so called because they believe that large insurance and pharmaceutical companies should be able to conserve their fiscal assets while average Americans are forced to sell their kidneys in order to get some Tylenol --- have been repeated and amplified in town hall meetings across the country in a concerted, nationwide, industry-financed campaign to put loud, stupid people in front of television cameras and have them accuse President Obama of being Karl Marx.

Asked about the public option in his daily press briefing last Monday, White House press secretary Robert Gibbs told reporters the administration was "starting to lean" more toward the use of "very promising private-sector mechanisms, such as insurance hedge funds and mortgage-backed health derivatives." But, on Tuesday, Gibbs assured reporters that the administration was "in no way" dropping the government-run component of reform.

"We're looking at providing government-funded cardboard crates for people to live in after being forced to sell their homes," Gibbs said. "And tax credits for cemetery plots and cremations would be another way to help!" he said.

Fly Me to the Moon? Not So Fast.

HOUSTON, Texas (The Dissociated Press) - NASA’s plans to return astronauts to the moon by 2020 are "unrealistic," according to a report, released Friday, by a presidential commission appointed to review the agency’s human space exploration program. "Although," the report said, "it is possible they could make it as far as Bermuda."

Led by Norman R. Augustine, a former CEO of the Lockheed Martin Company (corporate motto: "If we weren't so firmly attached to the government's tit, we'd be asking Chrysler to save us!") the ten-member Human Space Flight Plans Committee (HSFPC) --- so named, according to Mr. Augustine, to enable the catchy and very futuristic acronym "hisfippick" --- determined that, among other things, such as better office-building vending machines and a plausible rocket design, NASA needed approximately $3 billion more per year (or, roughly one quarter's worth of Goldman-Sachs executive bonuses) in order to make its 2020 lunar-return target date viable.

"We have tremendous respect for NASA," the Augustine report says. "But, since the end of the cold war and the Apollo Program, the agency has consistently been forced to operate with funding that didn't measure up to the Herculean technical challenges it faced. This has led to undesirable and, in the present case, unworkable compromises."

The report says that while NASA has "made the best" of the budget-driven 1970s decision to use problematic solid-rocket boosters on the Space Shuttle --- which resulted in the loss of the Challenger and its crew in 1986 --- its current plan to employ stomp-rocket technology on its next-generation "Ares-I" Crew Launch Vehicle is "bound to yield disappointing results."

Committee members were expected to meet with the Obama administration officials on Friday to inform them that the current level of funding will not work, and that NASA's hope to reach the moon again by 2020 could only be realized if it de-orbited the "immensely expensive and marginally useful" International Space Station by crashing it into the Pacific Ocean --- an event, which, according to the report, "if properly promoted and broadcast worldwide, live, on Pay Per View, in high definition, could probably finance a dozen NASA missions, to Pluto!"

Oafs of Office

WASHINGTON (The Dissociated Press) - New York Federal Appeals Court Judge Sonia Sotomayor was sworn in as an associate justice of the U.S. Supreme Court on Saturday, prompting the Anti-Defamation League to brand her an anti-Semite and call for her immediate impeachment.

Sotomayor was confirmed by a 68 - 31 vote in the Senate, overcoming opposition from several prominent Republicans, like former presidential candidate John "Bomb-Bomb-Bomb Bomb-Bomb-Iran" McCain of Arizona, who claimed she lacked the "judicial temperament" to sit on the highest bench in the land.

A graduate of Princeton University and Yale Law School, Sotomayor, 55, is the first Hispanic to sit on, or be nominated to the Supreme Court. She grew up in the New York borough of the Bronx, where she was born after her parents resettled there from their native Puerto Rico.

Some of her supporters worried that Judge Sotomayor's nomination might be derailed, not by her 18 years' worth of decisions from the federal bench, but by some of her "less conventional" speeches and writings delivered away from the court. For example, in one speech, delivered in 1994 to a group of minority students at Duke Law School, Sotomayor said that, under some circumstances, she felt it could be "advantageous to fuck up a white male judge if he was having trouble getting past his 'My people came over on the Mayflower, so I own this place' bullshit!"

Despite Republican efforts to provoke her and trip her up, however, Sottomayor remained demure and focused during her senate confirmation hearings. At one point, while being grilled by the ranking Judiciary Committee member, Jeff Sessions of Alabama, over her views on the 2nd Amendment "right to bear arms," the judge got up from her chair and began singing the song "I Feel Pretty" from the musical "West Side Story."

Judge, now Justice, Sottomayor was sworn in on Saturday by Chief Supreme Court Justice John Roberts. The historic ceremony had to be carried out twice after, on his first attempt, Justice Roberts accidentally administered the oath of office for vice president of Bolivia.

Does Il Fate Await North Korea?

SEOUL, South Korea (The Dissociated Press) - In another of what has become an escalating series of provocative moves by Pyongyang over the past month, the North Korean government announced Wednesday that it plans to annex Canada.

It was not immediately revealed how the annexation would be accomplished, but a North Korean diplomat, speaking on condition of anonymity, because he was unauthorized to discuss the matter and feared being forced to go to Chairman Kim Jong-Il's hair stylist, said it would probably involve "the use of several hockey pucks and a polar bear."

In recent weeks, North Korea has acted with what appears to be increasing recklessness, conducting an underground nuclear test, test-firing two long range nuclear-capable missiles, and hiring Somalian pirates to threaten U.S. and South Korean ships near its territorial waters.

On Monday, Pyongyang's official news agency reported that, following a secret trial, which lasted approximately 16 and-a-half minutes, a North Korean court had sentenced two American journalists, Euna Lee and Laura Ling, of Current TV, to 12 years' hard labor for wearing non-state-sanctioned eye liner.

"I hate to say it, but this seems to be a country with a death wish, if such a thing is possible," said one high-ranking Pentagon official, who asked to be identified only as Uma Thurman.

The sentiment is widely shared. Indeed, on Monday of this week, it was announced that Chairman Kim had just personally concluded contract negotiations, with the artist Christo, to have the entire country wrapped in a giant bull's eye, with the giant words, "Go ahead, make my day!" outlined in flashing neon lights covering a 40 square-mile area at the center.

North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il

Little is know in the west, or in North Korea for that matter, about the enigmatic Kim, other than that he is the natural-born son of American stand-up comedian Marty Allen.

Comedian Marty Allen

Kim (né Irving Alpern) and Allen --- who was a month shy of 20 years old when Kim (Alpern) was born to a waitress Allen was seeing in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, his hometown --- had a falling out in 1972 over an off-color joke Allen made while guest starring on the popular TV game show, "The Hollywood Squares." In what Allen claims Kim later admitted to him was "a slight overreaction," the young man moved to North Korea, where, mostly through happenstance and a series of well-planned murders, he  became the adopted son of and successor (in 1994) to the country's revered founder and president, Kim Il-Sung.

Over the past year, in which the Chairman had a couple of prolonged absences from public view, there were rumors that the 67 year-old Kim was seriously ill and had possibly even died. While the latter has been clearly refuted, Kim acted last week on concerns about his health, and on his own oft-stated desire to keep power over North Korea in his family's hands, by officially naming a cup of his sperm as his successor.

Legal Eagles...or Not

SACRAMENTO, California (The Dissociated Press) - In what is sure to be just another milestone in the lengthy legal and political battle over same-sex marriage, the California Supreme Court Tuesday ruled that it has Alzheimer's Disease and can't remember why it's wearing black robes.

By a 6-1 margin, the justices voted to uphold a state constitutional ban on same-sex marriage, which they, themselves, ruled, last year, could not be banned by the state constitution. The ban was enacted through a statewide voter referendum, Proposition 8, which passed in November with 52 percent of the vote.

Writing for the six-member majority, Chief Justice Ronald George asked in his opinion, "What is my name? Is it Ron, or is it George? ... I knew a boy who had a dog named George. Is that who I am? I hope so; I like licking my balls and peeing on fire hydrants!! ... Hello?! Who's there? ... Did I just say something? What time is 'Howdy Doody' on? I really like Buffalo Bob! ... May I please have some Ovaltine?! ... Hello?! ... Hello??!!"

Proposition 8 is a legacy of California's controversial statewide initiative process, which allows voters, and certain species of wild animals, to amend the state's constitution with a simple majority --- usually either by a show of hands or using an applause meter. Through the initiative process, California's constitution has been amended 43,272 times since 1911, when the process came into being. By contrast, in the over-220 years since the federal Constitution was written, only twenty-seven amendments have been added to it, and the first ten (the Bill of Rights) came before it was even out in paperback!

As the result of one inglorious proposition (among thousands), which voters placed on the ballot three decades ago, the state constitution currently protects the right of persons who have owned their homes since 1978 to demolish a public school at their whim (as well as a public university, hospital, and library), provided that no students are inside it at the time. (No similar safety provision is offered for teachers.)

Another voter initiative, passed in the 1950s, established fundamental protections for "the civil rights of asphalt!"

Following the announcement of the Court's decision, angry protests by supporters of same-sex marriage, and, more generally, of equality among people, broke out across California. Justice Joyce Kennard, one of the three justices who developed dementia between voting last year to uphold same-sex marriage and voting against themselves this week, seemed taken aback by the public's outrage. In trying to explain her most recent legal reasoning, she pointed out that the Court had to decide between the competing interests of two rights: that of gays to marry and that of Californians to change their constitution.

"On the one hand we had the inalienable right of all couples to engage in a civil contract of mutual, life-long support, sanctioned and enforced by the state," Kennard said. "On the other hand, we had the inalienable right of Californians to put propositions on ballots and vote on stuff. It was a very tough call!"

"Now, may I please have some Ovaltine? ... Hello??!!"

Meanwhile, in...

WASHINGTON (The Dissociated Press) - President Obama nominated federal appeals court judge Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court Tuesday, putting her in line to become the country's first Hispanic justice and, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg hopes, bringing a badly needed left-handed power hitter to the Court's softball line-up.

Sotomayor would replace retiring justice David Souter, who announced this spring that he would leave the Court at the end of its present term in order to devote himself full time to his true passion: competitive needlepoint.

Souter is regarded as a reliable member of the Court's liberal wing, although he was appointed, in 1990, by Republican president George H. W. Bush and strongly opposed at the time by, among 7 other Democrats, Massachusetts senators Ted Kennedy and John Kerry. But Souter was a relative lightweight when he joined the Court, having only five prior months of service on a federal bench, the 1st Circuit Court of Appeals.

By contrast, Sotomayor has a wealth of experience in the federal judiciary. Since 1998 she has been on the 2nd Circuit Federal Court of Appeals in New York City. And before that, from 1992 to 1998, she was a judge of the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York.

Introducing her in the East Room of the White House on Tuesday, President Obama hailed both her experience on the bench and her compelling life story.

Indeed, Sotomayor's personal history is hardly typical for a nominee to the Court. She was born in the Bronx to Puerto Rican immigrant parents, who, fearing that they lacked the money to feed her, left her in a large wooded area north of New York City, where she was adopted and raised by a family of wolves, until she was 18, when she left the forest to attend Princeton University and Yale Law School.

"Judge Sotomayor, in addition to having great depth and breadth of experience in federal law, has the personal background to provide a perspective and level of empathy that are both rare and badly needed on the Court," the President said.

Several Republicans quickly seized on Mr. Obama's statement, accusing him of trying to appoint an "activist judge" with strong familial biases favoring the rights of ethnic minorities, and wildlife.

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell said Tuesday the Senate would not be a “rubber stamp” to confirm Sotomayor and said Republicans would “examine her record to ensure she understands that the role of a jurist in our democracy is to apply the law even-handedly, despite their own feelings or personal or political preferences.”

And the Republicans' ranking member on the Senate Judiciary Committee, Jeff Sessions of Alabama, whose nomination to the federal bench 23 years ago was rejected by that same committee, was adamant about the need for vigilance in reviewing and evaluating the nomination of a judge who makes decisions based on empathy.

"The President and other liberals need to understand that a justice's role is to evaluate cases and make decisions based on what is written in the Constitution," Sessions said in an interview Wednesday. "Things like empathy or personal beliefs cannot be allowed to enter into a justice's legal rulings."

Sessions said he was referring to instances where, for example, a Latina justice, based on personal experience, might reflexively find credibility in a black person's claim of being discriminated against by a bank loan officer.

"This type of feelings-based approach to the law has no place on the Court," Sessions said.

Presumably the senator would differentiate completely such legal methodologies from the strict Constitutional interpretations which might, say, lead a justice to rule that the public school day should begin with a prayer, or that human life begins at the moment of erection.